I’ve gone through a long period of time where I haven’t prayed. Well, I’ve prayed, but I haven’t really talked with God expecting an answer. There are many reasons for this, and I’m trying to work through them all. One of the main reasons I think is that I am afraid of becoming Job.

Job was a righteous man. He was so righteous, that God allowed him to be tested just to show just how righteous he was. It sounds arrogant, but I am afraid of being that righteous. What if God sees that I am so faithful to Him that he allows me to be tested in that way?

I don’t think I could be Job in the face of losing my wife and my son. I don’t have that much faith in myself. As a matter of fact, I’m pretty sure I would fall apart if all the things that happened to Job were to happen to me. I believe in God, and I know He can provide comfort through all things, but I don’t see myself handling those situations like Job did.

The thing about the fear of becoming Job, however, is that my fear is robbing me of my relationship with God. Fear robs us of a lot of things. I am trying to not be fearful. I am trying to be confident in my faith. That is actually one of my prayers to God. I am having to pray that I will be able to believe that my prayers are heard and that He will respond.

I have enjoyed my talks with God during this first week of my “Prayer Project.” I am learning. I am not, however, anywhere close to becoming Job.